Phase one, underway. We are currently en route to the land of wonders: a place of unexplained explanations, where nebulous, impulsive, thought illustrates, animates, reciprocates, and procreates. Journey on and on through the spaceless space, timeless time, the sideways eight hallway that is their minds. You are about to embark on a journey with two young lads who, in a fit of vanity, alter the shape of history. You, the listener, are going to fall through the walls of time where you will witness the love lost, swordplay, and hamburgers that brought us where we are today. This album’s where you’ll go when you need a laugh. We sing about drugs and girls and eating their boyfriends. I know we may seem kind of obscene. But give us just one chance and maybe you will see. Let’s be friends and we’ll sing these songs together; We’ll laugh and be in perfect harmony. Let’s be friends and we’ll sing these songs together; You call it taboo we say it’s comedy.

We have a friend; his name is anonymous. He’s a little bit different from you and I. He’s a little bit slow and not very smart. His favorite food is Pop-Tarts. Mumbles, oh Mumbles, you fall and you stumble. You killed all your brain cells smoking that weed. He comes into class high off his butt. The teacher calls his name and he says: “Whaa?” He thinks he’s smart; he thinks that he’s grand. He doesn’t see what you and I do, man. Mumbles, oh Mumbles, you fall and you stumble. You killed all your brain cells smoking that weed. Mumbles, oh Mumbles, oh why can’t you see that, I do not want any of your ecstasy? He’s rolling a joint and he’s passing the point of no return. He’s doing a line and he says that he’s fine but he’s not. He’s doing cocaine and he likes Mary Jane and he deals ecstasy and he loves LSD. Oh, I think one day, Mumbles, that you are going to die. Mumbles, oh Mumbles, you fall and you stumble. You killed all your brain cells smoking that weed. Mumbles, oh Mumbles, oh why can’t you see that, I do not want any of your ecstasy?

I’m just a boy from faraway; I need so much more than an average day. I live with my uncle and aunt ‘cause my mom and dad they passed away. They say I’m a simple farmer, can’t get a power converter. I have to stay here. I can’t leave my home. I met a couple robots, the gold one he sure talks a lot. The little one ran away and the Sand People ruined my day. That’s when I met a man named Ben and these are the words he said: “You’re not just a boy from far away; you’re destined to save the galaxy. Your father was an intrepid man; you’ve inherited his lightsaber.” I said, “This cannot be, I’m not that man, this prophecy’s not meant for me.” So, I went back home but they burned it down and killed Owen and Aunt Beru. I vowed revenge and I’m following Ben, gotta get my head out of the sand. I’m fighting for what I never had, gonna do it for my mom and dad. The Empire doesn’t stand a chance as long as I have both my hands. Princess Leia we’re coming for you we got your message from R2. And when I need a helping hand I’ll remember the words you said. I’m not just a boy from far away; I’m destined to save the galaxy. I’ll be fearless with my dad’s lightsaber; I will destroy the empire. He’s not just a boy from far away; he’s destined to save the galaxy. He will be an intrepid man, even though he is going to lose his hand.

She works at Wendy’s, the girl of my dreamies. She made me a frosty; that’s when I fell in love. The feeling she gives me, my heart skips a beat. But I’m wasting my time, she’s with another guy. Well, here they are together in this perfect weather: He’s holding her hand and she’s holding his heart. If I can just show her that I would be better. I’d treat her right like he never could. I’ll hold you close, as the world around us falls. Come dance with me until we lose the strength to stand. I can’t hold back, my heart as it beats out of my chest. Don’t you feel this is how it’s meant to be? Wendy’s Girl, (Let’s be together in a) Fast food world. (I’m waiting for you.) Wendy’s Girl, I’m waiting for you. Something about this, it doesn’t feel quite right. I like him but he’s not the love of my life. The feeling he gives me, my heart just feels offbeat. I’m wasting my time; I want another guy. There’s this guy at Wendy’s; I made him a frosty. When our hands touched, that’s when I fell in love. We’ve been talking a while; I can tell that he likes me. Gotta talk to my boyfriend, it’s time we break up. “We had a good run but we have grown apart. When you hold me close I don’t feel a spark. You’re a great guy; please don’t get me wrong. But I’m meant to be with—” Frosty Guy, (I love it when you) Look me in the eye. (I’m waiting for you.) Frosty Guy, I’m waiting for you. I don’t think she likes me; I heard them talking. I only heard one part she said: “He’s a great guy.” I think he might ask her to be his wife. I have to make my move; I think I have an idea. Frosty Guy found me, the guy of my dreamies. He gave me a ring, the wedding’s in a few weeks. Things are so much better since my ex and I parted. Haven’t seen him at work, it’s been a couple of months. “Hey!” “Hey, you can’t be back here.” “I heard you were going to ask her to be your wife.” “What‽” “And that doesn’t sit right with me buddy.” “No, you don’t understand. We broke up.” “Liar! You know, I heard you could put just about anything into the meat grinders in this place and make burgers out of them.“ “No, what are you doing‽“ “Anything.” “Stop!” I’ll hold your throat; don’t you dare make a sound. “Quick and painless, I’m kidding it’s gonna hurt like hell. I can’t let you get between the two of us. Can’t you see that I’m in love with—” Wendy’s Girl (“These hamburgers are awesome.”) Wendy’s Girl (“These taste familiar.”) Wendy’s Girl Frosty Guy (“I made them just for you.”) Frosty Guy (“I worked on them all night.”) “Frosty Guy, I’m glad I found you.” “And now I have you.” “I’m glad I found you.” “And now I have you.” “I think I found a finger.” “What?” “Nothing.”

Let’s go out and party tonight. All the girls are looking so fine. Lots of food and lots of beer, Tonight’s gonna be the night of the year. Randy called us up and told us to come over, July twenty-ninth, gonna have a great time. We’ve never been to a party before; We’ve been opened to brand new doors. Told our mom about the party. She said we couldn’t go but we’re going anyway. Shirt and tie or a tuxedo? I don’t want to underdress. Let’s go out and party tonight. All the girls are looking so fine. Lots of food and lots of beer, Tonight’s gonna be the night of the year. We’re on our way and I can’t wait. “I hope that they have board games.” He said there’d be a lot of beer. “What’s this beer stuff anyway?” We’re walking up the front porch steps. “What’s that strange smell in the air?” “I’m so excited for my first party.” “So am I, let’s go inside.” Let’s go out and party tonight. All the girls are looking so fine. Lots of food and lots of beer, Tonight’s gonna be the night of the year. “Hey Kevin, uhm, what’s happening? They’re using bad words. And they’re dancing . . . with each other! I think I want to leave.” “Hey look, it’s Mumbles. Mumbles! Did you hear our song we wrote about you? Did you like it? Why do you have a gun?” “Kevin he has a gun!“ “Mumbles, why do you have a gun?” “Kevin he has a gun!” “Oh, no, no!” That party sucked ‘cause Kevin died, ya know? I mean, I thought we were going to have a great time. But you’re lying there, on the floor. I thought we would be together forever. I have come to a conclusion: Parties suck they’re full of junk. Beer and drugs and lots of sex— Hey look they have board games! Let’s go out and party tonight. All the girls are looking so fine. Lots of food and lots of beer, Tonight’s gonna be the night of the year.

There once was a young lad Who wanted to meet the girl of his dreams. That lad was me; That girl wasn't you. So you want me to write you a song? Well, this shouldn't take very long. You asked for it, so don't blame me. It's about your bad breath and smelly feet. When you talk my brain cells die. You hit on Ryan all the time. These last couple years have been such a strain; I'm surprised you still know how to breathe. Please, don't get me wrong: I do believe in love. If you could take my place You'd see what a drag it is to see your face. I'm sorry we're done but it's not me; it's you. If you need someone to blame then look the other way. I know it seems odd, you thought that we were fun. But you asked for it; I hope you like your song. My friends all think you're a tramp. You’ve got the most obnoxious laugh. This song is so very liberating: It's about the way we're breaking up! There was that time you killed my cat; I can't believe you used that bat. These last couple years I've been under your thumb. So, shut your mouth I've had enough. Please, don't get me wrong: I do believe in love. But if you’d drop the gun You’d see why I have to run. I'm sorry we're done but it's not me; it's you. If you need someone to blame then look the other way. I know it seems odd, you thought we were fun. But you asked for it; I hope you like your song. I remember when we first met. We were just a couple of kids. Should have taken the time, I would have seen the signs. I should have questioned your past. I would have seen you’re a psychopath. You murdered your whole family And now you’re after me. Please, don’t get me wrong: (Please, don’t get me wrong:) I do believe in love. (I do believe in love.) But if you could walk in my shoes You’d appreciate my point of view. I'm sorry we're done but it's not me; it's you. (I’m sorry.) If you need someone to blame then look the other way. (We’re done.)